CREATING COMMUNITY

There are three activities that are absolutely vital in the creation of a community. The first is eating together around the same table. 


The second is praying together. 


And the third is celebrating together. By celebrating I mean to laugh, to fool around, to have fun, to give thanks together for life. 


When we are laughing together with belly laughs we are all the same. 



Jean Vanier in "Living Gently in a Violent World,"

ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS

Local journalist Frances Willick wrote a piece on the neighbourhood our church ministers in.  She had a front page article today in the Windsor Star.  Check it out:

http://www.windsorstar.com/Drouillard+Road+Down/3316330/story.html

PRAYING PUBLICLY AT CIVIC GATHERINGS

There are times when I’ve been asked to pray at a public event in the community.  I consider it to be a privilege and want to pray sensitively to the audience, but direct the words to God.

As a Christian, how am I to pray in these situations?

Here’s my current list of conscientious prayer reminders:

1.  Don’t show off.  Jesus chided the Pharisees for using prayer as a way to brag about their spirituality.  No trumpets on the street corner.

2. Keep the prayer appropriate to the request for it.  Who is asking you to pray and why?  In addition to the public prayer, I can always pray privately about how God wants to use me in the gathering as I meet people.

3. Pray to the God you know.  In multi-faith environments, there may be an expectation that you will pray to a generic God that fits all religions.  While there may be a sensitivity to all faith groups gathered, you represent your own faith group and that should be expected.  Pray intelligently in words that specifically address your God and are respectful and redemptive to all present.

4.  Pray and act as God’s ambassador.  You are representing in these situations and it’s more important that you are humble and approach with a servant’s heart.  This is not your opportunity to set the agenda of the gathering.

I was recently invited to say grace at the dedication of a new power plant producing cleaner, more efficient electricity.  It was held at the reception center of Hiram Walker distillery and was stacked with community leaders, industrial magnates and politicians.  I sit on a neighborhood redevelopment committee that received $300,000 from the new project to improve the environment.

Here’s the grace I prayed before the meal:

To the One who dwells in the Holy City, the Almighty Sovereign of Creation, we give thanks for this day of new beginnings and generous blessings.

May these good works and accomplishments that we celebrate be a reminder of your provision and compassion for people everywhere.  May we be inspired to new acts of justice and mercy, thoughtful connections and inspired vision.

Help us to see how kindness and generosity can empower our neighbors to live with ‘Shalom’ towards one another.

For this food, for our civic officials and leaders of industry and community, we give thanks.

Amen

THE POWER OF POTLUCK PRESENCE

When it comes to helping the poor, many people are moved to acts of charity and the support of justice initiatives.  Ruth Wilkinson writes about a third response to the poor in ‘presence’.

She is involved in a ministry that provides potluck dinners to residents of a rundown motel in a small town.

Read her wise thoughts here:

http://sgworship.blogspot.com/2009/12/adventure.html

PAUL MCMULLEN - MINISTRY TO SENIORS

Paul McMullen, chaplain at the Harold and Grace Baker Centre in Toronto, ON  recommends simple activities for volunteers who want to connect with residents who feel forgotten by family and friends.

“A layperson can connect with seniors simply by pushing a wheelchair, sitting down with a resident for a meal or just by listening.”

There are many ways to get involved: reading to residents, helping to write a letter, playing board games or bringing in a pet when you visit.

It doesn’t have to be complicated.  A short discussion with a chaplain or staff member is all that is needed to find an appropriate activity, speaking to the resident personally.  The opportunities and needs are many, even at homes that can afford an activity program.  Arthritics may be left out of a craft activity.  That is where one on one is so vital.  Once a need is identified, volunteering doesn’t require a major time commitment, although consistency is important.  If a resident knows you are coming they have something to look forward to.

Failing heath presents certain barriers, but here are some tips to follow for effective communication and participation.
Kneel down to their level if they are in a wheelchair.

Look directly at them and identify yourself.  Residents want to see your face and your lips moving.  They want to see you.

You need to adapt to special needs.  If there is a hearing problem get closer and determine what ear is better by asking.  If partially blind or totally blind touch is so important for the senior.  Don’t be afraid to put your hand gently around their shoulder (remember their bones are fragile)

Touch is so important, yet they can be so fragile.  A senior wants to know they are still valuable and useful.  By holding their hand or putting your arm around them increases blood flow and heart hate which is very therapeutic.  I sometimes give a gentle kiss on the forehead to show that they are loveable.

Some may think that dialogue may be difficult.  Let the senior do the talking.  I have learned that the best education learned outside of the classroom is sitting at the side of a senior.

I also recommend a gentle approach, anchored in humility.  We want to see people come to the Lord or rejuvenate a relationship with Him.  We must be living witnesses of the work He has done in our own lives.  You need to earn the opportunity.  Then you will have opportunity to present the gospel.

Ministry in long term care extends far beyond the resident.  Remember that family members are also in pain.  Sometime they are feeling guilty for have to put them their, even though there may not have been a choice.  We need to realize that this is mom or dad’s last home before eternity.  Don’t forget the staff members who look after the residents.  Some get very close and when one in their care passes away it can be extremely difficult for them also.

Surprisingly, even with death and pain hovering nearby, Chaplaincy and volunteering is usually a great blessing.  As for the volunteer they get more out of it, so I have heard some say, than the senior or the family member.

_____________________________________________

(originally published in Faith Today)
Available for speaking to church groups, clubs or organization regarding Ministry in Long term care.
Paul McMullen 416-743-5101 or email chaplainpm@rogers.com

FOCUS ON THE BROKEN FAMILY

I was recently invited to a local high school as one of three community members for a discussion about drug abuse among high school students. Twenty-five students showed up as part of their urban school program.

“What was it like to smoke crack?” asked fifteen year old Kayla. She was a frequent pot-smoker and had tried ecstasy and several other common drugs.


Josh, an eighteen year old high school student who had recently been through rehab sat forward in his seat. With eyes bulging and teeth grinding he blurted, “It’s like nothing else. I’d take a hit and my brain would race. It was a powerful feeling of being somewhere else… being someone else. It was so strong that I would do anything to get more and use again. I’d rob people, steal old ladies purses, it turned me into a monster.”

“When and how did you start using?” Asked Mister Rollins, the urban school program facilitator.

“When I was a kid, my dad used to beat me senselessly. He threw me down the stairs. He was an alcoholic. When I was thirteen my best friend asked me to try his joint. Right away I knew that this is what I wanted.” Josh spoke with understanding gained from rehab and his friendship with Mr. Rollins.

Sixteen year old Carrie spoke up. “I was thirteen when I first smoked pot. People say that it doesn’t damage you, but it made me lazy. My marks were in the sixties and then my parents found out that I was smoking it. They confronted me and what hurt the most was my mother saying she was disappointed in me. I stopped after that and now I’m on the honour roll with marks in the nineties. I still drink at parties, but it’s under control I think.”

Carrie’s boyfriend Devon tells his story. Mom was addicted to prescription pills and dad was a cokehead. Devon remembers his dad always using drugs and having strangers in their house. Dad went out west on a job saying he would be back in a couple weeks. Two years have passed and dad never even said good-bye. With a lump in his throat Devon talked about his own pot-smoking and cocaine use.

Mr. Rollins and Ms. Morgan are in their late thirties and teachers at a local high school. They are respected by these kids. They find acceptance and love, obvious by their willingness to share drug stories in front of us strangers.
One of our group asked the students, “What could the community do to help you? What would be meaningful at this stage in your life?”

Devon spoke up. “My family has failed. If the community wants to help us, we need this group to become a new family for us. That’s what I need.” Several student voices echoed this felt need. They were not prepared to go somewhere else, but felt secure with these teachers at their school.

For two hours I sat silently listening to their stories. I wanted to cry as Alicia described her dad’s deteriorated mental state from years of hard drug use. She talked of childhood in a house full of addicts. Her own drinking was becoming problematic. I recognized that Mr. Rollins and Ms. Morgan were the closest people she had as parental figures. Her own parents were still dad and mom even though they had failed miserably.

I thought about Devon’s words. “We need this group to become a new family for us.”

These kids are the same age as my own. What would it be like as a parent to be so distracted and damaged by addiction to have your own children crying out for love elsewhere? What is it like for a young person to be so traumatized by their upbringing that they are willing to destroy their own life with substance abuse?

I am thinking about what it means to be a follower of Jesus. He defined a new family for everyone that needed to leave father, mother, sister, brother behind. He invites broken people into His family, the church. I want these broken kids to find a new family. I know that my kids will accept them. They will be welcome at our table.

But they are not going to knock at our door. We have to find them and allow our brother Jesus to work through us. Our churches need to learn how to express a deeper love that is inter-generational, non-threatening and filled with grace. The Father has a big table with room for everyone.

WORKING WITH OFFENDERS

Jesus simplified theology and religion when he said that there are two great commandments which embody all of the law and prophets.

1. Love God with all your heart, mind and strength
2. Love your neighbour as yourself

From the story of the woman caught in adultery I draw several applications for how I should conduct myself in all restorative relationships.

John 8:3-12

3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

PERSONAL APPLICATIONS FROM CHRIST’S EXAMPLE:

1. His interpretation of the Law applied equally to all, not just to the those who were caught.
2. He found a way to bring mercy into the life of the offender.
3. The guilty offender needed an opportunity to find release from shame.
4. He involved the offender in restoration to society by asking her to see the acceptance and release He offered.  She was able to see her freedom to grow into a new reputation.
5. Her opportunity for change was from the starting point of mercy and acceptance, not guilt and punishment.